Welcome to Delicious or Distressing, where we rate recent food memes, videos, and other decidedly unserious news. Last week we discussed Stanley Tucci making Ina Garten her first martini ever.
After consuming the first five seconds of the latest viral TikTok saga to grace (plague?) every digital channel that I frequent, watching a young woman visibly demoralized post-Hinge date, I thought to myself, “you go girl”—we are her and she is us. Blindly, sans context, my allegiances laid with her. By the end, I was a changed woman, ready to put my life on the line to defend her date, whom she’d abandoned at the dinner table because he wouldn’t pay an extra $3 to add cheese to his burger.
She recently revealed the story is fake and she’s duped all of us, mere subjects in a social experiment. Still, as they say: Art imitates life. Her TikTok, she admitted, was born out of an exchange she observed at a neighboring table. And she was still pro-$3 cheese! You’re on your own here, babe.
Dunkin’ is discontinuing its fan-fave Dunkaccino, we found out this week, drawing uproar from its loyal congregants. Because my brain is irreparably infected by the internet, I can’t help but wonder what Ben Affleck thinks about it. Another institution with a cult following, Vanderpump Rules, made headlines this week—all I know is that a cheater who is also a restaurant owner got his comeuppance, and to that I say 👍. Also, people are tossing a slew of edible things into waffle irons, and I have no reason not to support it; crisp away, my friends.
It feels like the term “red flag” may have jumped the shark in recent months. To be clear, red flags are things like “keeps multiple birds as pets” and “thinks recycling is for chumps,” and “genuinely likes the Avatar movies.” They’re not, like, “doesn’t use crosswalks”—that’s you looking to sabotage your burgeoning relationship, babe, and I think we should get a couple drinks and really dig into that impulse. For TikTok user @DafnaDiamant, though, a red flag can be as simple as not wanting to pay a $3 upcharge for cheese on a burger. Long story short: She posted a TikTok describing a dinner in which her date turned down cheese on a burger because of the price. This made her so uncomfortable, she said, that she excused herself to the restroom, paid the bill, walked out, texted her date that he should have gotten the cheese—and then blocked him. The video went viral, and nearly every commenter agreed that this was deranged behavior. What’s more, it’s recently come to light that the story wasn’t even real! Apparently, she and her date heard a guy at another table turn down $3 of burger cheese. People lying? On the internet? For content? That, my friends, is the ultimate red flag. I’m giving this a terminally online, dairy-based 2.4/5 distressing. —Sam Stone, staff writer
Dunkin’ has officially announced that it’s discontinued the Dunkaccino, the signature combination of coffee and hot chocolate that has been on the menu since 2000, and it’s a devastating loss to its fans. Prior to the announcement, the drink already quietly departed from the menu in an Irish goodbye, stumping people over its disappearance. As an ex-Dunkin’ barista who used to drink the Dunkaccino like water during my shifts, I’m a little heartbroken, though admittedly not surprised, to see this iconic drink leave the menu. I’d speculate that it would find more success if it came back as a limited-time one-off—and I’ll be waiting with open arms if it does. RIP the Dunkin’ Dunkaccino. You will be truly missed. 2.5/5 distressing. —Julia Duarte, art assistant
I love reality TV (ask me anything about Love Island) but I know absolutely zero things about Vanderpump Rules. Based on these qualifications, I will be explaining the show’s recent cheating scandal in today’s blurb. Let’s continue.